No longer was I this triumphant woman doing what she set out to do. Nope. I was instantly derailed. Flashbacks of him kissing me goodbye, of me laying my head on his chest as he drove into Heathrow. Remembering the hurt I felt when I read his email saying he needed time to think through what happened on the trip and the weeks of waiting that followed. My heart started beating faster, I got dizzy. No joke. It was like I was having a panic attack. I wanted to leave that church as fast as I could to get to my computer to finally talk to him.