I can’t wait. It’s been SO LONG. I have missed him so much.
While he’s here we’re going to decide on a plan for the future. We are going to map out 2011 and it’s going to be a big year for us. I feel it in my bones. SO excited.
I can image how amazing and nervous it would be auditioning for the part of a lifetime as a theatrical performer. The part you’ve wanted since you were a little girl or boy. The one you were born for. After getting the part how thrilling it is training for it; practicing your lines and dance steps and singing the songs. But what a joy at the same time. For me that is how things are with Martin right now. I feel like I’ve auditioned for this part I’ve wanted to play my entire life in the play that is perfectly written for me. Opening night is coming closer and I’m getting nervous. But I’m so excited. It’s been such a joy and yet also a lot of work and at times very hard.
Only Christmas could leave me as peaceful and happy as I am right now. God sent His son Jesus to die for my sin. It is this gift at Christmas that allows me to smile…I do..smile that is, and then I remember a gift I stashed under the sink in my bathroom that I still need to wrap. Mental note: don’t forget the present under your sink
I yearn for change. I desperately want for myself completely new surroundings. New furniture, new rooms, new memories. I want to leave the home whose foundations have been cracked and pieced back together after the earthquake. But I can’t. Financially it makes no sense. And for my children’s sake, it is not wise.
That is just the kind of thing that makes me all soft and gooey inside. And what is great about Martin is that he’s the same. We are both sentimental and corny and we wouldn’t have it any other way. So here is Martin sitting in a pub with four golf buddies telling them he woke up at 6 in the morning to sing The Sound of Music songs with me and my daughter. I asked him how they reacted to THAT story and he shook his head and kind of shrugged and said, “They got it.” And he smiled.
Yes I missed my kids. But I had wallowed enough in the past few months and I am determined not to let Christmas get the best of me. So I pressed on. I knew I’d be talking to Martin later and I had money enough to buy the gifts I needed to get. I had a full tummy and I counted myself blessed. If I had to do it alone I would. And I would be company enough for me. And I was. Then the kids came home Sunday night…
This year I haven’t a clue what I’m doing Christmas Eve. I don’t want to dwell on the negative but my picture of how this Christmas would be was very different a few months ago. Now I’ll be alone and I need to come up with some kind of plan. Something to make it special without being too much WORK.
My kids are teenagers and its hard to rally the troops. I’m at a loss other than coming home and having a meal and opening a present – like always. I want to start a new tradition. Something fun and happy and easy. Any suggestions?
I love mistletoe because I love to kiss. I come from a kissing family. We all kiss on the lips. Maybe because most of us are girls. But we just do. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. Aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, moms, dads. Kissing is in my future. Martin booked his flight. He’ll be here for New Years.
‘m settling into a “new normal” again. It’s the story of my life. And it should be. Change is stressful but its a sign of growth in one way or another. I’m growing in my ability to manage on my own. I’m growing in my relationship with my Lord and with my kids. I’m learning more about myself and what makes me tick, what sets me off, and how often I don’t follow my own advice.
My new normal includes this love story with a man across the pond. It was his birthday today. Yes folks he’s now 56.
Improvised Life 