About Livvy

This is not the life I expected to live.  It didn’t fit with the plan I had when I was a little girl, or after I got married and had my babies who grew up to be two gorgeous and brilliant teens.  But it’s the life I got and I need to do my best to live it fully the best way I can.

My name is Livvy Ospry and I led a fairly quiet and predictable life up until September of 2007 when it all started to unravel.  You can read about it.  First it was my 18 year marriage to my high school sweetheart, then my job.  Then there was more…much more.

I started this blog because my friends were sick of hearing about my life and I needed an outlet. What I didn’t know was where life would take me after that and how writing would change me.

I still don’t know where I’ll end up.  I’m making it up as I go but to the best of my ability – as I do –  I’m following a God who I know and love and who loves me.

Thanks for stopping by.  My hope and prayer is that somehow my story which includes things I can’t even believe were true and untrue helps someone else.

24 responses to “About Livvy

  1. The above is my blog. I have been standing for my marriage to be reconciled, but am wondering at what point did you KNOW that there would be no more reconciliation and how did you know how to quit. And approximately how long till the heartache ends once the quitting has started.

    • Hi Dianne – I’m going to answer this in a post cause I don’t think I’ve addressed this specifically and I know there are so many of us out there and I can at least share how it happened to me. Thanks for reading my blog.

      • Well Livvy. Today was a rather eventful day. Today my husband told me how he doesn’t love me at all anymore how he has been asking God to restore his love but God wasn’t doing that. How he won’t miss me when he moves to Mexio and a whole load of other hurtful things. I still find it hard to understand how someone can just give up on something that was so wonderful and could only get more wonderful with just a bit of effort but I guess there is a point when someone just quits. I just wish it could have been me, but God never let me do that. We’ll see what the future holds won’t we. I’ll keep you posted, but this stuff hurts doesn’t it.

        • Yes it hurts. Something tells me you will be better off. I wouldn’t say that lightly either. Have faith my sister. I am praying for you tonight. It will get better I promise. God rewards the faithful. You have HIS peace, HIS joy, HIS assurance.

  2. Thank you Livvy. Yes it hurts and I am pretty sure, even though I know that this is not necessary and that with God all things are possible, that yes, I will somewhat be better off. There are just times that panic creeps in and I want to run but the only place I know to go is to Jesus because He has promised me that I will be ok. The realities of this world certainly do try come in and tell you otherwise though don’t they. Very scared for finances, but must not be afraid because fear is not of the Lord and I must trust Him through all of this. Please do keep me in prayer. It just seems that the closer I get to God, the further away my husband gets. He even relapsed this weekend after he told me all that he did. I still feel as if it is my job to keep praying for him.

    • I will never stop praying for my ex. I understand about the financial panic too. I went through that and luckily came out okay. But I kept telling myself what is the worst thing that could happen. Really thinking about it and visualizing it as a possibility and realizing that I could deal with whatever it was helped a lot. I will keep you in prayer too Dianne.

  3. I got so mad at me because I am one who so believes that if the birds are that important to God, I know I am so much more and I should not ever have to worry, so for now, for this moment, I am not and I know that I will be ok and will not worry about the “how am I going to do its” because I know that they are covered.

  4. Hi – I have been keeping up with all your posts, but have been in a numb place, working on me. I am going to make it. My daughter and I are moving out probably July 15 or August 1 to a one bedroom apartment in our complex, but it is all going to work out. I know that God has his hand in this and although I still feel a certain sadness over my husband’s choices, I feel a certain excitement for what God is going to do in my life. The reason for the one bedroom is that financially I can’t keep the two bedroom and keep anything left for fun and since this is just temporary until I get set more financially, this will be just fine and the best part is that I am counting on no one but myself and God. My budget includes nothing being counted on from anybody but myself. Therefore, we are going to be fine. I can feel it in my bones that it is going to work out. Pray for me as I do you. Someday I hope to join you in Disneyland my sister.

    • That is great news. Keep me posted! You just gave me a great idea for a post! Thanks Dianne. God bless you and your daughter and I will pray that you will not let the baggage of the pain and heartache weigh you down but that you will rise!!!

  5. It does not define you. Check out this website. It has encouraged me much in my Christian walk. This lady preaches in Chicago, but you can get her teaching CDs via mail and they are a blessing. The long series on the succesful single is very good, and my favorite is ‘Lord I’m so Tired of Being Lonely.’ Be blessed and hange in there.
    http://www.singlespleasingthelord.com

    Take care, Roxanne
    http://www.eternallyhopeful.wordpress.com

    PS/ I can relate! 🙂

  6. Thank you Livvy. Even in the midst of being horribly ill, I am praising God for the upcoming renewal he is preparing me for. I just know that right around the corner is my new life that he has planned perfectly for me and I am going to be ready to embrace it fully. My heart is healing and some of the recent things done on the part of my – this is my first time to say this – Soon to be ex towards my daughter have really made me stronger in that I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that none of this was my doing, it was all from him. Praise God for clarity, even if it takes us a while to get it. Praying for you always Livvy and I will always thank you for your first response to me, the lengthy post that I have printed out and go back to every now and then. It always makes me feel stronger. God bless.

  7. I’m amazed at how you were able to place your journey on wordpress–you are so courageous. It does not define you one bit, because you are a beautiful person and God loves you. I look forward to subscribing to your blog and asking if you would be ok if I prayed for you too? If you like to read there is a book called Transitions by Julia Cameron–thank you again for the recent comment.You seem like a lovely person and I hope you have a wonderful day today 🙂

  8. Hello Livvy,

    I am such a fan of your blog and your ability to express yourself in a way that provides comfort to others. We are all so happy that you are happy!

    I can’t help but wonder though… what about your ex? Where is he in life? Do you think he has found the happiness that he went out looking for? Do you think he lives with regret? Has he been hit with the consequences of his decisions?

    I know that the most important thing is the well-being and happiness of you and your children, but I’m just so curious.

    Thanks Livvy. We pray many blessings come to you and Martin.

  9. I just found this blog, after searching, “my husband does not love me anymore”. I found an article you posted and found your blog. 2 nights ago, my husband and I talked about an issue, and he then told me, he is not sure he likes me or wants to be with me. We have raised our kids, just married one off. He losst a bunch of weight, and bought a harley. everyone teased me about a mid life crisis. I said no way, we are so rock solid,no biggy have the bike ect. We are GOOD. We are both Christians, I work for my church. I cannot breathe, I cannot eat, I cannot sleep, I cannot stop this pain from overwhelming me. He has agreed to marriage counseling, but I think it is just to tell our kids he tried. I want to just back off and let him be, but I am in a panic, and want to try to be together with him, and see what spark has gone missing. I dont know how to BE anymore.I feel like I have lost my very best friend. 2 months ago we traveled to celbrate his fifteyeth birthday. we had fun, I feel so blindsided. I have cried out to God for 2 straight days, and I have nothing left in me. We are to go camping with our grown kids, he still wants too, how do I act as if all is well. He doesnt want to tell the kids anything, he says there is nothing to tell. but I dont know how to BE. I ache. I hurt, and I see no answer or way to fix anything.

    • A husband should be “a part” of you but he is only to an extent…he is also an individual who will decide for himself what he wants to do. You can’t make him do anything – even in love – which is what I really tried to do. All YOU can do is be authentic to who you are. React to this trial as if God is in control because he is. Ask yourself how to bring honor to God through your actions because no matter how old your kids are they are still watching and learning. And hold onto Jesus through this and don’t let go. I have seen couples get through to the other side of it and be stronger for it. I pray that for you. But no matter what happens you will be okay. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Keep in touch. – Livvy

  10. I just googled the same thing- my husband doesn’t love me anymore. I just found this blog and am amazed at the similarities! I guess the question I have, really, is when do you KNOW its true. I mean, he says “luvyah” in his emails and ends phone calls with “love you, bye” but his focus seems to be everyone and everything else. He says I’m paranoid. I say the “luvin’ feelin'” isn’t there…in the conversations, in daily interactions, in hugs or sex…i feel a void. Is it me? Is it him? How do you gauge?

    • Hey Kelly, There can be so many things at play (his innate personality, something going on with him causing him to distance himself maybe related to his self-esteem or work) And there can definitely be a sense that after so many years you begin to take for granted your spouse who you do truly love. It sounds like to me that he is not taking your concerns seriously though and that is a problem. You either need to clearly communicate to him that this is a true concern for you and in order to feel respected you need to be taken seriously (without losing your temper when you do this) or you will take it to mean that he is losing interest in fostering a good relationship with you. The paranoid comment is a common tactic used by men who want to keep doing what they are doing because it works for them and make the woman doubt her feelings (the term is called gaslighting – look it up) and it’s not respectful at all. SO I would start there. Get him to take you seriously. I hope that helps. I’m certainly not an expert. Good luck to you.

      • Hahaha, no such thing, but I know what you mean. I married my HS sweetheart and first lover, then had 3 kids, 2 houses and a business with him. 15 years later I was a single mother and moving to SoCal to run away from home for the first time and if there’s anything I learned, there is no such thing as normal. I wished for it but still don’t think I have it. It’s okay though. People always think the next persons life looks so much sweeter, easier, richer…it’s just not a fact. You’re just stronger and avoid less! The best news is that we’re all kinda freaks and its really funny every day (if you choose to look at it that way). The trick is not believing ANYONE who tries to tell you their freak is better than yours. I’m working on that myself…

        PS- thanks for the quick replies! You’re great. Hope you’re enjoying SoCal in October. I’m back in SF bay area but miss HB a lot!

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