Two people I love had their first days today. My daughter had her first day of band camp and Martin had his first day meeting with his new sales team in Chicago. First days can be tough.
But it’s truly happening. When I first met him I remember telling my mom not to worry he was just a nice guy who I’m chatting with who lives half a world away and nothing would ever come of it. I literally did not fathom how far we have come. And now we are so very close
I literally wanted to reach into the ink on that page back to my 31 year-old self and scream as I shook that woman and tell her that things would get worse before they got better but they WOULD GET BETTER! And that picture in her head would become HER LIFE! Contentment and joy would be found!
Wendy eventually grew up. She became a real mother and when Peter returned he felt betrayed. He wanted her to want to stay right where he was. But she couldn’t. So he left her. She tries to convince him to grow up himself but in the book there is a line where Peter says,
“Keep back, lady, no one is going to catch me and make me a man.”
But no matter how much we want to be together and because those darn scientists haven’t gotten their act together and can’t “beam me up”, we will have to wait. We have no other choice. And we will learn a lesson in the waiting. Good things are worth the wait they say. I’ve found this to be true.
So when my life took a nose dive and I fell out of the boat I had to survive. I made mistakes of course but mostly my peanut gallery cheered me on. They picked me up off the floor a few times. They marveled at my ability to be loving and forgive. They were incredulous at my faithfulness and yelled, “LET HIM GO, LET HIM GO!” in a roaring collective chant. I listened, I felt their energy, I was buoyed by their support. I welcomed it. I survived because of it.
Playing foozball in the backyard seems like a distant memory. I snarled. He snarled back. Divorce is messy. I hate it.
The biggest obstacle is not the 6,000 miles but the 8 hours difference. I am going to sleep when he is waking up and I’m waking up in the middle of his afternoon. Typically he is setting his alarm for 6:00 AM and I’m staying up til 1:30 AM. It will be nice to be in the same time zone soon.
There are moments in life like that when there is NO GOING BACK. No matter what you do from that point on you will have repercussions. Just put your finger in still water and watch the ripples. You can’t stop them once they’ve started.
Baby back ribs are my favorite. My kids love them too but my ex got two pieces of chicken instead. My son asked him why and he said he felt like chicken. I chimed in and said, “Dad doesn’t like ribs cause they’re messy.” and he agreed saying, “I like the end result I just don’t like the process.” and it was like a lightbulb going off in my head.