Endings


God knows what he is doing not giving us the endings of the story He has for each of us. It’s like Martin said, we don’t really like to watch the movies when we already know the endings. I’m sure we would invest ourselves differently if we knew and probably miss out on many opportunities to learn, grow, and experience life. And I’m reminded too that sometimes when we think something is an ending it is just a pause in the story.

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Caring vs. Control


But what I do know is that you are born alone and you die alone and no one on this earth really owes you anything. Just because you care doesn’t mean they should follow your advice. We can express our disappointments and suggest what we’d like but in the end it is really up to them and the mistake is making them “pay for it” if they don’t do what you think they should do.

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A Fixer Upper


But having a fixer upper does something to you. It teaches you through your mistakes. For me it allowed me to be more of a risk taker since I had not much else I could lose. It taught me to appreciate what little I had left and how it was enough. And it taught me one other very crucial lesson about relationships.

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All Things English


s it just me or when you are interested in something or fall in love all of sudden you see things that remind you of that person everywhere you turn? I’m sure it is just that we have a heightened awareness but Martin swears that everywhere he goes he hears American accents and sees blonde women with glasses. He hears news reports about Laguna Beach on the radio or weddings in LA. If it ‘s not one thing its another. A man with a Newport Beach t-shirt or a song with California in it.

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What More Could I Want?


SO why do we pick who we pick. Why did I pick Martin? Why did he pick me?

During our conversation about the turn her life has taken and her appreciation for the journey, despite the heartache, she posed this question to me: “Do you think at some point you will regret not ever dating and seeing what else is out there?”

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My Heart Today


Poor Martin. He is so busy lately. So busy. And he is always making himself available to me, going over and beyond what is reasonable to expect, like getting up at 5:30 AM just so we have longer to talk when I have to go to bed early for a work day. And all this effort is met on Skype by me with tears. I told him today that I’m not sad, but the tears pouring out of my eyes left him with a confused look on his face. There is not much more he can do. He’s maxed out.

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And the Winner Is…


Martin told me to keep myself under control but its like when you are awaiting the results of a contest of three people and they have already announced third and second place. You already know you’ve won but you can’t jump up and down and cheer yet because you have to wait for the announcement to make it official. Also, I need to call my ex next and make sure he is willing to watch the kids at the house for the entire length of time. It’s a win win for them it seems. But you never know. So I can’t call it done yet.

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