I tried to be like him. I tried not having passion and not being spontaneous with my emotions and actions. I tried following the dance that made sense to him, so that there were no surprises. But I sucked at it. Bad. I disappointed him often. I was always sorry and I didn’t do it on purpose but that was never good enough. I was never good enough.
I spent a few minutes reading the blogs I wrote around my birthdays since 2009. They were interesting snapshots marked by much reflection and hope for the future. WOW – I’ve come a long way in 4 years. Wow.
Faith is not the same as hoping for something and making a wish. Faith is what you have when all your hopes and wishes don’t come true. It’s what shores […]
The problem with social media is the temptation to look is always there and in most cases it is not edifying, helpful, or good for you current relationship. Luckily Harry and I are solid as a rock and Harry finds Slimeball’s posts almost as entertaining as me.
I have a good friend of mine ask me if I thought true love was possible to anyone. And I had to tell him yes.
I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot because I’ve loved before. And while those loves were not perfect…had we stuck it out I think at least one or two of them were not doomed to failure. But every love is different. Some are harder than others.
I’ve been thinking a lot about timing lately. Harry and I are nearing the end of our wait to begin our new life. There are a couple of key pieces […]
After the appointment he took me out to shoot some pool. My son went to get my daughter for the weekend and when they showed up we shared some food and laughs and then followed them home. Harry and I sat with our feet in the pool in the backyard sipping wine and talking about lots of things. I have the best conversations with him. They get deep but they also make both of us laugh.
Honestly I had been considering having another child. I know after what I just wrote it is clear to anyone reading this that I have certifiably crazy. But I love Harry. And he’s never had a child. And if I could give that to him…well. I would if he wanted me to. That is what I was thinking. Now, I’m realizing that I’m probably past my ability to do that and it makes me sad.
Sitting there in that backyard, staring back at these women with a smile on my face I realized that what Harry needs is not someone to buy into the fear but I was being called upon in that moment to be that true partner I told him I would be. For him and for us. It was battle time and I needed to have his back.