When Your Body Turns on You

Honestly I had been considering having another child. I know after what I just wrote it is clear to anyone reading this that I have certifiably crazy. But I love Harry. And he’s never had a child. And if I could give that to him…well. I would if he wanted me to. That is what I was thinking. Now, I’m realizing that I’m probably past my ability to do that and it makes me sad.

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Hard Day Had by All

I will be honest. Today was a rough day. Had a horrible sleep but woke up and called Harry earlier than normal and had the best talk. He is so good to me. Drove into work with his thoughts running through my head. Prayed for my coworker named Buddy who is losing his battle with cancer. So hard. I got choked up at one point but held it together. Another coworker has a lump in her neck and it’s tested as likely lymphoma. And her mother who is 99 years old is also in late stages of cancer. Lots of heartache. Lots of turmoil.

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I felt like a Yenta who was chaperoning her pick for a match. I tried to get into the night just to have fun but I was miserable. All I wanted to do was be at home talking to Martin. I knew he would be worried that I was out and I hated that feeling. But my friend kept saying, “I’m so glad you are here this would be a really weird if I was just along with him.” She really did look like she was having a good time and it was nice to see her smile.

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