Thank You God

hank you for a normal, boring day.

That my eyes opened this morning and I could work from my snug as a bug blankets of my bed until I felt like it. Thank you that my friend who came over to bring me coffee cause I ran out and worked with me all day. Thank you for flirty texts from H.S. Guy and plans for this week.

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Martin said he was finally ready to tell me why he disappeared and left me hanging for now 45 days. I told him I didn’t want to see him so he could chat if he wanted to explain. He started by telling me what I already knew. My strong personality frightened him. the fact that we argued frightened him. For about 40 minutes it continued like this until I had enough and asked him to get on with it.

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Epic Stories and Quilts

Broken relationships create this need for amnesia in ones life because remembering is too painful sometimes. But I don’t want to stop the memories.

I want a gigantic quilt when I die that includes the pieces and fabric that made me who I will be. The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. I want to stitch each square in as it unfolds so I don’t forget to remember. I know it won’t look designer. Too many different colors, textures, weights. But it will be true. It will be me.

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The Sock Bag

Back into his room he went searching, and searching, and searching until he finally came back with them on. I looked down and said, “Lift up you pants.” He hiked up the waist. I said, “No at the bottom.” He lifted his trousers to reveal dirty, white ankle socks. I looked at him like, are you kidding me? “Go find some black socks kiddo.”

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False Start

But I don’t know. I felt like I was cheating on Martin and I hate that I felt that way. I have never dated. I don’t know. Maybe I will end up alone for the rest of my life? He seemed to have a good time and was even gracious when we both got parking tickets for parking on the wrong side of the street. I tried to pay for his because I told him where to park. UGH. I just feel like it was a little bit too soon. Why else would I feel so guilty and bad.

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