I’m Confused


So I was confused as to why he would lie about where he was to me. I was happy for him to be doing whatever he pleased while I worked. Why cover up the fact he was at a concert? Why not just tell me. I’m still confused. Because when I confronted him about it and he admited to having been somewhere other than where he told me…I said…”I can’t marry someone I don’t trust.” and he hung up the Skype call. I haven’t talked to him since. That was Saturday night.

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On Second Thought….


I know I’m not making sense right now. I can’t blame it on PMS cause my period just ended last week. I have no idea what my problem is.

All I know is that Martin almost said the F word for the first time since I’ve known him today on Skype because he’s so frustrated with the situation. He stopped himself though. He feels powerless and angry knowing that he would do a better job than half of the people he met while in the US

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Showing Restraint


But as much as we are born with certain tendencies all of us need to keep ourselves in check. Hound dogs need exercise just like jack russells to keep fit and healthy. Just because they don’t feel like moving doesn’t mean they can get away with it without consequence. And I know my fierceness gets in the way sometimes so I have to restrain myself and let things progress at a pace slower than I would like.

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Still Eating the Elephant


I didn’t really know if they were just terrific kids who wanted to see their mom happy but deep down had reservations about me marrying Martin or if they really were cool with the idea. Could they really be that selfless to support me despite their own misgivings? Looking back now I see how ridiculous an idea that was. If anything my kids are honest to a fault. They ARE teenagers. When they don’t like something I know it plain as day.

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My Favorite Song


It was perfect. And I felt again like I was living a fairytale that I didn’t expect or deserve but mercifully was experiencing all the same. Completely content to be with this man I had hoped and dreamed for all my life and thought I would never meet but met quite by accident on the other side of the world.

After dinner I switched the playlist to the one I had prepared with fun, romantic songs we could dance to and we did. We laughed, sang, hugged, kissed, danced, and danced, and danced.

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What COULD Go Wrong…


Whether we formally write out a list or not we all have one in our heads. We have expectations and if we give ourselves time to think about it we know how things would generally go if those expectations weren’t met. There are meals, laundry, cleaning, bills, raising children, jobs and vacations to consider. Lots and lots of potential powder keg circumstances.

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