He is not a controlling, horrible man. I just have to say that. He was defensive and mad and probably scared. But he is a good man who I love. He gave me what others weren’t willing and couldn’t do. Time…thousands of hours of conversation. Waking at 6 every morning and staying up late. He is so good in so many ways. He just couldn’t be everything I wanted him to be and he knee jerk reacts and lies. He’s not manipulative because I know he can’t plan ahead that far.
A man that cunning would not ask me to rid his email of spam, knowing I have the password.
And I miss him. And I’m sad. Horribly sad. And I tried and he tried…and this is just sad. That is all. And nights really really suck.
This just feels like the worst nightmare ever.