But at lunch today I asked to see it for myself and he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea but I said, “No, I can handle it.” And so he did. And at first my heart just ached for his poor wife who either has a twisted agreement with him or who was completely in the dark. Because what he showed me was a picture from this past July of Martin on the beach kissing his wife and looking lovingly in her eyes.
He is more three-dimensional in my mind than ever before. His girls did that. They made him more real to me like I’m sure my children have made me to him. They put him, his being, in context with the rest of his life. Like a sentence does to words or a paragraph to a string of sentences. You see the context and you understand better. I know I know him better now for the visit. I know I understand what he is giving up better now than ever before. And that makes me feel horribly guilty and causes me to think about ways I can give some too so its not all him doing the giving.
I admit I’m scared too. This is not an easy thing to do. Getting married for the second time is a big enough leap in and of itself. Mix in a long-distance relationship and the trust factor is quadrupled. While I still think that I had a realistic expectation that Martin should have been more honest with me about how he spent his time, I do sometimes react to abnormalities when he’s in England like they are mutations of his DNA. I need to remember that every mole is not cancer
That is just the kind of thing that makes me all soft and gooey inside. And what is great about Martin is that he’s the same. We are both sentimental and corny and we wouldn’t have it any other way. So here is Martin sitting in a pub with four golf buddies telling them he woke up at 6 in the morning to sing The Sound of Music songs with me and my daughter. I asked him how they reacted to THAT story and he shook his head and kind of shrugged and said, “They got it.” And he smiled.
Martin packed up all his stuff today and then got an email from the American arm of his company that apologized for the delay, that they’d like to explain, and could he have a phone conversation on Friday. He was like…Friday I’m flying! Apparently not.