Truth and Forgiveness


My thoughts are spiritual today. Seriously spiritual. I’ve been thinking a lot about worth. Who is worth it? Why offer forgiveness? Why give second chances? I learned the hard way in my marriage and with Slimeball that just because I believe and offer forgiveness does not mean they are worthy of it. It’s a hard lesson to learn. It’s even harder to exercise. Because it is in my blood to forgive. As Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.” I’ve tried to live by this for many years.

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Done


So it’s time for this girl to shut this door and lock it tight. Like people do front doors in New York City, with a hundred locks. If someone knocks on my heart again I will make them prove who they are before I let them in. I’m glad I stayed in contact as long as I did because now I know and I will never ever think that he was the one that got away. I will never have any regret about losing him. I was spared. It’s time for me to be done. I get being done now. I’m done with him. Done. I guess I never knew someone in my 42 years that I have ever felt that way about. He’s a first. Hopefully also the last.

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Truth is…


My greatest fear is that what happened will make me incapable of trusting again. I was so shy in the beginning and wanted to go so slow and he was so enthusiastic and kept pushing me into a deeper relationship quicker than I wanted to move. Another warning sign I chose to ignore. But will I ever trust again? At this point I can’t see me ever believing another man.

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