I’m in a philosophical mood today. So get ready! There are stages to grief and one of them is denial. We deny the reality of the situation when someone we […]
I’ve been thinking a lot about timing lately. Harry and I are nearing the end of our wait to begin our new life. There are a couple of key pieces […]
My thoughts are spiritual today. Seriously spiritual. I’ve been thinking a lot about worth. Who is worth it? Why offer forgiveness? Why give second chances? I learned the hard way in my marriage and with Slimeball that just because I believe and offer forgiveness does not mean they are worthy of it. It’s a hard lesson to learn. It’s even harder to exercise. Because it is in my blood to forgive. As Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.” I’ve tried to live by this for many years.
I spent the day yesterday on a shoot for work at a conference. The main speaker was a detective who works cold cases. And I spent some time with him […]
There was a small blip on my radar yesterday and the day before of Martin. And I heard from someone who would know, of one last lie he told me. […]
So it’s time for this girl to shut this door and lock it tight. Like people do front doors in New York City, with a hundred locks. If someone knocks on my heart again I will make them prove who they are before I let them in. I’m glad I stayed in contact as long as I did because now I know and I will never ever think that he was the one that got away. I will never have any regret about losing him. I was spared. It’s time for me to be done. I get being done now. I’m done with him. Done. I guess I never knew someone in my 42 years that I have ever felt that way about. He’s a first. Hopefully also the last.
My greatest fear is that what happened will make me incapable of trusting again. I was so shy in the beginning and wanted to go so slow and he was so enthusiastic and kept pushing me into a deeper relationship quicker than I wanted to move. Another warning sign I chose to ignore. But will I ever trust again? At this point I can’t see me ever believing another man.