So I kept staring at Harry today, listening to him talk and every now and then kissing him or letting him kiss me. When I’m with him I feel like time stops. It’s the best feeling in the world. When I study his face I know deep down that he’s in my life now forever come what may. He’s part of my heart. I love him. I know me. I know what that means. I’m not sure I know what it means for him. I’ve made the mistake before of transferring my value system onto the expectations of someone else and it kept me from being able to even conceive of the lies that I had to deal with. I would never lie like that therefore he would never lie either. I was wrong. Dead wrong. And I don’t want to be wrong again.
What makes your hand’s shake with fear, what makes your face red, what makes you want to stand up and be counted or sit down with humility and reverence? What brings tears to your eyes and softness in your heart and what makes you want to pound your fist into something. The cracks, the lines, the wrinkles, the overwhelming realness of knowing the whole story. The real whole story.