I walked in to get my hair done today and she said, “What’s new.” I smiled. She said, “Spill it, who is he?” And put the cape around my neck a little too tight. My face gave me away this time. I started blushing and couldn’t stop smiling. And she loosened the garment around my neck shaking her head and saying, “Yep, that’s what I thought…who did you meet?”
I think I’m stronger than I am. I tell myself I won’t get hurt and when I do I’m surprised. I’m a fighter. I can’t help it. And I’m way too trusting and as Harry says it, I would give Hitler the benefit of the doubt. I disagree with him, but I get his point. And maybe he’s right in theory. I want to believe that people are as good. I want to believe they work under the same set of fairness rules. But they don’t.
We are creatures of habit and we gravitate to things that are familiar. We are human beings, that’s what we do. We seek order in chaos, comfort in pain, and we want people who are like us around us so we feel like we belong.
I told Harry what was happening and then I showed him the emails. He already knew a lot about Martin’s angry email rants from back in February when Harry and I were just friends. But now he is more than that and instead of sending me flowers like he did in February, he got in his truck and came over. I left the back door open for him and was walking downstairs as he walked in and there he was at 3:00 in the morning. Standing in front of me. There because he cared. There because he could. But there.
I’ve said before that When Harry Met Sally is one of my favorite movies of all time. I love the banter. The idea that two people who are very different can […]
What makes your hand’s shake with fear, what makes your face red, what makes you want to stand up and be counted or sit down with humility and reverence? What brings tears to your eyes and softness in your heart and what makes you want to pound your fist into something. The cracks, the lines, the wrinkles, the overwhelming realness of knowing the whole story. The real whole story.
He is so different from anyone I’ve ever been close to. I don’t know him well enough to say what makes him tick. But in the course of that conversation, and in his willingness to listen, I could tell that he had heard me and wanted to do what was best for me which was go slower. It was an act of friendship. It was a good start.
People tend to place much too much emphasis on chemistry instead of friendship and some are afraid that if you start the relationship as friends it will be stuck there forever more. I think chemistry is important too but not acting on it. Sure attraction has to be there…but if you put the physical before the friendship you are almost ensuring a short-lived romance. Because chemistry has no endurance. It fizzles over time and becomes stale.
I watched this woman fight with dignity and courage and was often amazed by her capacity to give more than she ever no doubt received. She often commented on my posts with an almost childlike enthusiasm and positive outlook.
This is what life is all about. And one of the reasons I’m still with Martin as he goes about his business, seeing what he has promised to me and his girls through. Making right out of the wrong. If I stick around I can celebrate with him his growth as a man, a father, and as a child of God. If I left I would miss out in that. Sometimes. Sometimes, it is worth sticking around.