I’m in a philosophical mood today. So get ready! There are stages to grief and one of them is denial. We deny the reality of the situation when someone we […]
Tomorrow Harry and I are heading to my pastor’s office for our first pre-marriage counseling appointment. We thought about foregoing that option and just hiring an officiant instead but when […]
Yesterday I watched the most amazing football game I’ve ever seen. Alabama and Auburn are state rivals. We came in toward the end, early enough to see Auburn make about […]
Faith is not the same as hoping for something and making a wish. Faith is what you have when all your hopes and wishes don’t come true. It’s what shores […]
Harry asked, “Where do you want to go to dinner? I think we need our place tonight.” I agreed. Yesterday was a bad day. I could detail it all out […]
Harry and my relationship went through another test yesterday. I brought up the faith issue. This difference between us is about the only threat to our relationship that either of us can think of. It leaves both of us wondering how to proceed. We had a difficult conversation that left Harry feeling hurt and afraid that I was going to jump ship and abandon him. I knew I was saying things he didn’t like. I knew by saying them he could wash his hands of me, get up and walk himself out.
I read a book once that told me pain and sadness, grief and loneliness were as James 1 says, to be counted as joy. Not because they are joyful times or happy in any way shape or form. But because in those moments of darkness and pain, God is able to do a work in us that was impossible without it. We are stretched, we are challenged, we are made to be desperate at times in order to recognize our need for God.
So as I read the words he wrote I admired him for the courage it took to write them. For giving it to me straight. And I feel even deeper in love with him for it. So much respect and admiration I can’t explain. And I thought how awesome it is that I’m getting the opportunity to put him first and that I get to prove my love for him instead of my need for him.
I lived my entire life that way. Believing. And when things got tough, I became even more inspired. Bring it on! I would say. We can win, we will win, we have already won! With my friends, with my family, with my resources and my skills and with the LORD…we will conquer all! And then the big battle came