While it is odd to hear him laughing in the other room, I know without a shadow of doubt I don’t want history to repeat itself. NO way. I don’t want him back. That would be as maddening to me as a record that skips and keeps playing the same few lines over and over again. I want him to find a good life for himself and could only hope it would be as good as the life I have found for myself.
Ok, I fully admit it. I was being a girl yesterday. A big girl, not a baby….but still. HIGHLY emotional. Not irrational, but yes I admit emotional. More than normal […]
It must be the thousands of people she talks to each day and the decades she’s been at it but my hairdresser is full of truth. I have been trying to grow out my hair in case I wanted an updo for my big day. Today I said she could chop it off so she knew something was up.
So instead of sending it he sleeps. And sleeps. And worries about her leaving and everything being over. But mostly he worries about how to get a job. Because to him everything hinges on that. And it’s turned out to be the hardest thing he’s ever tried to do. He’s normally a success and has the skills to get what he wants. Now he has had to rely on God because nothing he’s done has worked. If there is a glimmer of hope he is up, when there is no light at the end of tunnel he is down. But after three days of hiding in these desperate fears and thoughts a couple of things happen.
What happened last night and today while it wasn’t pleasant was what I LONGED for in my marriage. OPEN, HONEST COMMUNICATION and not shying away from a discussion just because it makes you feel bad for a while. It was real. And I was so grateful for it. Even though I was sad, it was a dream come true.