Harry and I have been on a high lately. Everything has been full-steam ahead and there have been no glitches. None. Our pre-marital counseling is going so well. The one-on-one […]
Highs are cool. Perfect nights like Harry and I had on Thursday. But highs do not sustain a relationship. Nor does normal life. I know a ton of couples who have “normal” and are wallowing in unfulfilled boredom. No – what really makes or breaks a relationship is how they handle stress. When someone or something snaps how is that person a support to you – or not. It’s like the normal days you get up, you train, you prepare, you live. The parades you boast and celebrate. But it’s in the trenches where you see what you’re made of.
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You train for every conceivable scenario playing out when you’re a soldier so that no matter what hits you, you’ll have a plan of attack. Everything that takes training is […]
It appears I’m in a catch 22. Either way, for right now, I lose. My heart is broken because I love Harry so much. He is everything I’ve ever wanted. While we don’t agree on everything we have a deep connection because we treat people and need people in almost identical ways. We are a rare breed. I’ve never met anyone this close to who I am at my core ever before.
Less than three years later I found myself dealing with another painful break up. It felt all too familiar. But this time I knew that the pain would eventually end. I just didn’t know when. I learned from my mistakes and I knew I didn’t want to jump into another relationship. That didn’t work out so good the first time. I wanted to do this all natural. Get through the pain on my own.
But it’s hard to stop eating those french fries and drinking those cokes. It’s hard to put down the cigarette. And after a day or two trying the rationalizations begin. It’s not so bad. It’s only once. Just a little bit won’t hurt. And before you know the habits are not changed but instead reinforced.
It costs a lot of money to do what we have done. To see each other as often as we have over the past year and 7 months. I have pleaded with him to get a place of his own but he has been adamant that staying at his brother’s and sisters place was good enough and would save him money. Despite having to speak to me from garage floors holding radiators for warmth.
Martin and I are in as good a place as we have ever been. He’s done nothing like he was doing before. No more disappearing. No more saying he was too tired to talk or too busy or sick. No more weirdness. None. Could it be that he’s learned his lesson? Oh Lord? Could it be?
Last Valentine’s Day was one of my favorite days of all time. Truly. It was near perfection. We are going to celebrate this year on Saturday doing much of the […]