Harry asked, “Where do you want to go to dinner? I think we need our place tonight.” I agreed. Yesterday was a bad day. I could detail it all out […]
Much of the changes that have taken place in my life since has felt like they were taking place in a vacuum. I’ve somehow managed to get away from the chatter long enough to ask myself some hard questions and listen to my answer and not anyone else. And the results have been interesting.
People tend to place much too much emphasis on chemistry instead of friendship and some are afraid that if you start the relationship as friends it will be stuck there forever more. I think chemistry is important too but not acting on it. Sure attraction has to be there…but if you put the physical before the friendship you are almost ensuring a short-lived romance. Because chemistry has no endurance. It fizzles over time and becomes stale.
It must be the thousands of people she talks to each day and the decades she’s been at it but my hairdresser is full of truth. I have been trying to grow out my hair in case I wanted an updo for my big day. Today I said she could chop it off so she knew something was up.
I just can’t escape it. It’s there like a stain on white pants. It’s not like I can just turn around and say, “Oh well, no biggie, I’m happy now and I guess it’s good that you’re happy too.” In some ways I CAN think that. But it’s a huge stretch. It’s me being able to see him as just another person and not the husband who betrayed me. Maybe someday I will get there. But I’m not there yet. Does that make me a hypocrite?