I have to come back to this song today. Because the lyrics just hit me again in a different way than how I posted them last time. This song […]
I had this keen sense through much of my life that I was like the kid in the classroom who kept flying under the radar of the teacher and getting away with lots of things I should have been called on. And I had this fear that one day the attention of the teacher would focus on me. I was right.
Harry breaks the mold because he’s the first man I’ve ever loved who doesn’t try to fit himself into one. He is not the safe bet. He does not have a resume that promotes his accomplishments leading to security. He has no children that he’s raised, no family, no pedigree. So why then? Why Harry?
The problem with people like Lance is that they don’t know when to quit until they are backed into a corner. Which means the only reason he is telling the truth now is for selfish reasons. He thinks he can get something out of telling the truth for himself. He has no where else to go. Bastard. Selfish bastard.
Before Harry had to leave after lunch on this beautiful Sunday, I kissed him with everything I had and I thanked him for making the choices he did this weekend to be with me and my kids, to take me to the movie, and to go to church. He teared up and said that he has a lot of things going on his head. He called this weekend magical, said he was on a high. And I asked him if he could describe it in one phrase what would it be? And he said, “Heaven.”
It’s so often true that beauty can come out of ashes. There are circumstances, especially when a parent loses a child, where it seems impossible that something good can come […]
I thought, why not turn the tables on the New Year and do my resolution early? They usually only last a few weeks anyway, and this way I’m off the hook. New Years Eve will be my celebration of a resolution kept.
March of 2010, I wrote a blog post attempting to define the concept of love. But I had a conversation with Harry today that made me realize I severely need an addendum to that post. I said that ultimately love is a choice.
OK, I was bragging about how Harry and I never let a disagreement turn into an argument in my last post and the other night we met up after work for a quick bite to eat and it ended badly. Why? I don’t know. Different reasons, and we are all better now. But it just goes to show that it can happen to the best of us.
While it is odd to hear him laughing in the other room, I know without a shadow of doubt I don’t want history to repeat itself. NO way. I don’t want him back. That would be as maddening to me as a record that skips and keeps playing the same few lines over and over again. I want him to find a good life for himself and could only hope it would be as good as the life I have found for myself.