A Marriage of Three

I sat on the other side of the large desk of my pastor and listened as he described me as a Proverbs 31 woman.  I held onto Harry’s hands as my pastor said, “Her shoulders are this wide and your shoulders are THIS wide so you have to get to the place where you can lead her spiritually.”  Harry said, “Yes sir.”

After we left his office Harry said, “I don’t know what happens to me but I see that man as my coach and I get all tongue-tied when I talk to a coach.”  It really was quite funny how difficult it was for Harry to express himself in our pastor’s office.  This pastor is just a man but he is a man we both respect.  We both want to be genuine and yet give a good impression.

Ultimately we are there because we want to build our marriage on the right foundation, with the right mindset going in, and with the right tools to see us through the rest of our lives.

Most of you know that I have not pushed Harry toward making a decision for Christ but my pastor did.  He made it known under no uncertain terms that he would marry us only if we both agreed to build our marriage on the foundation found in our faith in Jesus Christ.  Maybe that is all that Harry needed.  Because Harry told us both that he wanted that too and agreed that while he has not had all his questions answered he could accept the claim that the God of the Bible is GOD, that Jesus died for our sins, was resurrected and faith in Him will bring salvation.

My pastor said that is all we are ever looking for…two people who want to build their marriage on that truth, and no matter where they are along the journey, two people who want to know God and incorporate their faith into their marriage.  He sees us in church every Sunday.  He knows we are committed.  So…it looks like he is going to marry us.  🙂  And for me, it is a dream come true.

We are 19 days away from the wedding and things are getting intense on all fronts.  I’m having dreams about the wedding details going awry.  Harry is literally burning the midnight oil trying to get projects done so the money we need is THERE to pay for the wedding, ring, and honeymoon.  My work projects are piling up.  My son is acting up and giving me headaches.  We are definitely getting attacked on all sides.  We knew it would happen.  We expected it.  But even more now though, because we are trying to do things God’s way…I think the attacks are stronger.

Harry’s head has definitely been focused on work and religion.  He’s getting serious and I’m watching and just trying to be supportive.  It’s nice to see that we can be ‘us’ under all circumstances.  When there is nothing pressing – how we can have so much fun together.  And when there are things that simply can’t wait and need to get done – how we can go into battle mode and be there for each other no matter what the other one needs.  While our circumstances have never been ideal….the way we interact has been.  Respect and honest communication  has been key.

So today, even though it’s very hard for me to focus on anything but my love for Harry and our impending nuptials.  I’m simply grateful for His grace and mercy in our lives.  I’m grateful that even though we are two people who make mistakes, that God looks at our motivation and our hearts and knows us intimately.  I thank God that what matters is what He thinks and not really what anyone else does.  He is the one who will be in this marriage with us.  Everyone else who think they know us well…will have but a snapshot of the real deal – even our pastor.  And that’s ok.

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