That’s Not What I MEANT!

referee_smlHarry once told me that if we were in a fight, all I really had to do to stop the fight was kiss him.

He was mad at me last night.  SO MAD.  But I knew he had it wrong.  I listened to him, I tried to explain my position but we were on different tracks.  What he thought I was upset about wasn’t it at all.  So the rabbit trail he was leading us on was heading nowhere meaningful.  I wanted exactly what he wanted.  He just mistook something I said for something else.  To be fair to him I did a bad job explaining myself but regardless…I knew the argument was pointless.

I wanted what he wanted truly.  So I decided to put his theory to the test.

I walked over to where he was sitting, knelt down, and kissed him.  Tenderly, lovingly, earnestly.  And then I kissed him again.  And then I told him, “I want what you want.”  And then he kissed me back and I felt all the muscles in his body relax.

He said, “When I’m upset about something I’m going to tell you right then so we can deal with it.  I’m not like the other guys you’ve dated.”

And I said, “I know…thank you and I can handle it.”  And he said, “I know you can.”

We had been watching the much anticipated Broncos vs. Colts came.  I’m a new Peyton Manning fan.  And in the midst of his excitement for the game…I was missing being able to talk to him, about anything…even football.  He was wholly and completely fixated on the game.  It was actually kind of cute if I hadn’t been alone all day having talked to no one.  My girl quota of words was highly unfulfilled and even though we were sitting on the same couch, I was missing him.  He asked me what was wrong and I said, “Nothing, I’m just mellow,  I could wait.” But I do a sucky job at hiding my emotions.   He could tell that I was bummed.  FAIL.

Then he made the mistake of asking me what was in my head.  Ok…if a guy really wants to watch a football game, he should NOT ask a girl what ‘s in her head during one.  I said a bunch of stuff that truly could have waited.  Just philosophizing I had done during the day because of a book I finished.  But HE DID ASK!

Had he paused the game for 5 min to let me connect with him I would have been ecstatically happy.  That was really all there was too it.  But in the midst of me trying to explain my day and all the thoughts I had that day…other stuff got brought up.  I knew my down mood had nothing to do with that other stuff…but when he did…I thought…OH BOY…this is not good.  This is not right.  He has to know I want to be here with him watching football 100%.  CAUSE I DID!

It’s like we needed a referee cause we weren’t seeing the same thing.  But we didn’t have one.

So when words fail?  When two people are trying to communicate but the words are GETTING IN THE WAY instead of helping?  You have to resort to what gets the heart of the matter.

So…I kissed him.  🙂  I mean where do you think the term kiss and make up came from?

We went on to yell and scream and cuss a little at the TV as Peyton Manning lost his first game of the season.  I spent much of my time closing my eyes because I couldn’t watch with so much at stake.  We cuddled and laughed and whatever it was between us evaporated and was replaced with the night I wanted in the first place.


Misunderstandings are funny.  They suck too.  Cause sometimes no matter what you say…it just doesn’t compute to the other person.  They just don’t get it cause their brain is still focused on what they thought you said that you really didn’t say…or at least didn’t mean how they thought you meant.  See how complicated it can get?

GEESH…how can two people who communicate so well get caught up in a web of misunderstandings?  ANSWER…It happens.  To the best of us.

Before the kiss he was ready to leave and go home.  Before the kiss he couldn’t imagine himself enjoying one minute sitting with me on that couch watching that game again.

But I knew in my heart I wanted what he wanted.  And I knew that kiss would disarm him.  And I made my move.

The game didn’t end how we wanted.  But the night did.

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