In this age of Facebook and social media, I am struck by how often – even when I’ve blocked or defriended people – our past comes back to haunt us.
I work alone all day so keeping up with friends helps me feel connected. But I’m not a Facebook junkie.
Every now and then my ex pops up in places I don’t expect and it drudges up feelings I’ve let go long ago. Mostly painful ones that made me remember how bad I felt when he destroyed our family.
But sometimes it’s mildly entertaining. Lately, Slimeball has been posting pics of his wife and he on vacation in California from earlier in the summer, changing his profile picture to one that I took of him, and putting up posts that read…”there comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t even jump puddles for you.” I mean who is he kidding? That ship sailed a LONG time ago.
Nothing would make me happier than to think that he is 100% sold out in love with his wife. But it strikes me odd if that were the case because he never had a good thing to say about her. He told me he was in loveless marriage that bored him to tears. The timing is a little suspect because all his public posts and pictures came directly after my trip with Harry to New York.
If he has rekindled the fire, then why the rest of it? If he is declaring his new found status as married man on Facebook by posting pictures of his wife for the first time since 2009…then WHY post a profile pic that your photographer mistress (just to be clear I didn’t KNOW he was married) took of you in a goatee that you’ve never had before or since? Isn’t that a horrible diss to his wife? That takes some balls. His poor wife who I hope is clueless about this.
Instead, It seems to me a pathetic attempt to get my attention. And I have to admit it has, but only to feel pity for him and have a good laugh.
I admit that I stalk certain people’s pages from time to time…but only cause I’m curious. Harry has a couple of ex’s out there who I am mildly interested only to find out a bit of their personality. This is a unique time in history when it is possible from a completely anonymous vantage point.
Where they like to eat, what kind of clothes they like, what makes them mad, their sense of humor. You get a little bit of everything.
One of his ex’s is much like Slimeball. Whatever the truth is as to how things went south…they have to portray themselves as the victor. They are incapable of seeing the truth which is they screwed up big time and had it not been for their tremendous and monumental SCREW UPS they would not have to be posting things like, “I am so much better off being single.”
It’s as if people on Facebook try to create an alternate reality with their posts. And why does this not surprise me coming from a pathological liar like Slimeball?
I find myself making some of my posts public because I figure if I’m doing a little snooping maybe people from Harry’s past are too and I want them to see how happy he is and we are. What is the harm in putting up some very public pictures of us gazing into each other’s eyes?
Perhaps its a little mean-spirited, but then again…it’s no different from dating in high school and having the ex see you walk through the halls holding hands. It’s just…virtual.
The problem with social media is the temptation to look is always there and in most cases it is not edifying, helpful, or good for you current relationship. Luckily Harry and I are solid as a rock and Harry finds Slimeball’s posts almost as entertaining as me. Harry was the one two years ago who was reading all my emails from him and knows what a true Slimeball he is. I love that about Harry. He is truly my best friend who is not threatened at all by other men.
But it’s got me thinking about making some changes for the future. I’m not sure being a Facebook junkie is what or who I want to be. Now that I have Harry, I find myself texting him throughout the day instead of posting a status on Facebook.
There are a lot of changing coming soon. Harry and I are starting to talk about our wedding and the ideas are starting to gel like they never ever did when I was engaged before.
We are settled on it being an inexpensive celebration and we’ve got a date!!! I’m not going to make it public though until I get the ring…most of you know why. Not doing that again.
But hopefully it will be soon.
When the time comes, I WILL be posting a very public picture of my left hand with a ring on my finger for the world (whoever that may be to see.) A beautiful, stunning, ring that is REAL and WILL lead to me changing my name.
And then of course I will be changing my relationship status too 😉 But I’m not a Facebook junkie. Well, maybe…just a little bit.