Last night, Harry and I laughed so much. And kissed and enjoyed each other – I honestly don’t know of one other person on the planet I’ve gotten along better with. No one. None. Man, woman, or child. I DIG THIS GUY. Almost everything about him 😉 He is truly my very best friend who I find nearly irresistible .
When I danced with him in his office to Whatever It is over a year ago…we both knew we had something special and love began to grow.
It’s been a slow build ever since with both of us taking steps with each other in trust. Forward. Slow. Deeper and deeper as time goes on. As wildly passionate as we are about each other…we allowed us to become an us. But that day we danced, we both knew where we were headed. He sang along with the lyrics to that song, to me saying, “I love you” and “she’s gonna be my wife”. We knew the destination.
I got really close to marrying someone who had no intentions of marrying me. I remember celebrating his baptism, of all things, and my birthday, with some members of his family in England. When I told his nephew’s wife that we had been looking at wedding venues to book for our wedding…well, let’s just say I will never forget the look on her face. It was something like a cat with a canary. She had just heard the most interesting tidbit of information and I could tell she couldn’t wait to share it with no doubt his one and only true and still wife.
That is when things started to go very badly on the trip. I don’t know what was happening behind the scenes but my guess is as soon as his wife (who I thought was his ex) found out he had me thinking WE were getting married…that there was much gossip and talk amongst his family members about what to do next. I imagine they put a lot of pressure on his to come clean and instead he started behaving like a child. It all imploded soon after.
I think part of him wanted to believe that it would work out and he could pull it off…and part of him knew he would never in a million years really do it…so he just tried to make it last as long as he could. It was a true nightmare.
We looked at churches, castles, forts, gardens, and homes for the location for our destination wedding. At each location, we would stand there and try to imagine a beautifully simple ceremony. But we never really got around to talking about the details. And frankly I couldn’t SEE what those details should be. There was too much up in the air. Too many unknowns. Too much that didn’t feel right. I knew the destination but I truly didn’t know how we would get there or what it would look like once we arrived.
And that was very unsettling.
I don’t have those same feelings of tension this time. I don’t. I’m content and happy. This journey I’ve been on with my Harry has been very different from any other. Because instead of getting discouraged along the way, or filled with doubt…I’ve been encouraged and filled with peace.
I’m SO SURE to my very core that this is the right place for me to be and the right person for me to be with…
At my church, baptism is an outward sign or act of an inward truth. A person is baptized who has committed to trusting in Jesus as their Lord and Savior and wants to acknowledge that truth to the world.
THIS TIME…when I get engaged and eventually marry…it will also be an acknowledgment of an unmistakable inner truth in my life. That Harry and I are as one. Forever dedicated to lifting each other up with love.
And when that happens…every person who knows me or has ever known me or doesn’t even know me…with KNOW that truth. Because I will shout it from the rooftops in joy.
I know we will get there. I’m not anxious about where, when, or who will be there to see it. I just know that we WILL become husband and wife and THAT is my destination.
And when we get there, it will be just the beginning. Like pioneers traveling to the west. Our journeys in life often start with lots of extraneous stuff that we think we have to have in life. The pioneers brought with them trunks and pianos, vases, and china. But as the journey got more difficult the importance of those extra things vanished as they were dumped along the side of the road. Often times, they would finally arrive with just each other. But that was enough.
That’s kind of how I feel. Whatever we get blessed with along the way will be sweet and I will enjoy it immensely. I will happily put a beautiful ring (that’s not fake this time) on my finger and I will happily plan a simple and beautiful wedding ceremony. But all that is extra. All I really need is to make sure we get there together. What really matters is Harry will be by my side.
My destination wedding will be found in his eyes.