Back to Planet Earth

Yesterday will go down in history for me as being my best cheese-ball day ever.  I loved how unabashedly romantic both of us can be.  My family has always rolled their eyes at me for how dorky I can be but most of the time I’m not trying to be, I just am and mostly cause I’m more sentimental than they are.  Harry is too…we are a great match in that way.  Complete love nerds.  I love it.  But today it was back to business.  Back to planet earth and back to taking this whole thing one step at a time.

Among other things we discussed finances today.  I tell ya as a couple, we are really getting to meaty issues and working through them in preparation for marriage, even during casual lunch break talks.  It’s really a good sign as far as I’m concerned that we are speaking serious. It makes the planning feel very real to me and I need that after what I’ve been through.

While we agree about the spending of personal money (thank God) we are well aware that his business creates a level of risk for him that he knows I have no tolerance for.  I’ve lived a very simple financial life.  I’ve been told that its very rare for a woman to be frugal but frugal I am.  I only buy what I need in most cases and often deny my needs in order to get something for the kids. And when I do lay down some cash it’s on quality items that will last.

I’ve never been in debt except my house and car payments.  I’ve always had money in the bank and never bitten off more than I can chew.  Lived within my means even when we made $8.50 per hour.  I went to the grocery store with cash and a calculator so I wouldn’t go over and put things back if I had to.  Having a little money in the bank as a safety net and a few retirement accounts has helped me get through emotional times.  At least I could pay my bills.

Harry’s financial life is volatile at the moment and it’s pretty clear that is one area where due to his present circumstances it could lead to trouble between us.  At the very least tension.

So as much as I’d like to run off and get married tomorrow to this man who my soul longs for…it will have to wait a while.  Yesterday would have been a throw caution to the wind let’s get in the car and get married day.  Today with a little perspective I realize we still need to wait.  Not sure how long.  I hope not too long.  As much as I hate to say it, time is our friend.  I hate that phrase.  Cause every day I get older and I want as many days as possible with my Harry.  Grr…I hate it when I’m so darn mature.

I got caught up in the emotion of it all yesterday.  Kind of like a person that puts a little money down on a long shot at a horse race.  Going into this relationship I was really casual…this man was my friend.  No risk.  But then he started pulling far ahead of the pack and long shots pay off big so I took notice.  It’s that Lord have mercy feeling that something you thought had little to no chance is actually going to be a huge victory.

My mind was swimming last night about all the possibilities.

Today…was a Monday.  Back to the grind and back to reality.   But that’s ok cause that doesn’t make yesterday any less real.  It was very real.  Other worldly and almost magical but real no less.  And that is what is so great about Harry and I.  We are romantic but not despite reality.  We are grown ups.  And we want this to last forever so we’re going to deny our gratification for a bit longer in order to get the big pay off.  We’re investing in our future with time and patience so we get that quality relationship that will last.

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