Vanity


I’m so excited that I get to go out on a “night” date with Harry. He is usually going to sleep at dinner time so this is a rare treat for me. And I wanna look good. Thank God I have a great daughter with even better fashion sense cause she helps me pick out stuff to wear.  She totally came to my rescue tonight.

I said, “Baby I wanna wear a dress tonight do you have any that would fit me that would look okay?”

She arrived to my bedroom with two dresses lopped over her arm. One was one I had given to her when I got a little too big for it. I loved it. I remembered feeling so skinny in it and I grabbed it right away.

“Lets try this one!”
“Ok mom, but the boobs are really tight on it, good luck.”

I wrestled with it for a while and by golly I was determined to get that sucker on.

“How do shoulders get fat? I can’t get it past my shoulders, help me sweetie?!”
“Ok mom take off your bra.”  So I did and I kneeled down and put my hands above my head and she cinched that thing on me inch by inch.

“Now I know what it feels like to be in a straight jacket!”  She laughed. I was stuck. Arms above my head. I started getting sweaty. We took a break

I looked at her and said, “I’m gonna get this thing on I know it will fit if I can get it passed my boobs.”  We did. It looked great. YES! I was so skinny!

“Look at that, we did it…it’s a little tight in the boobs though.” Sigh….”I can’t wear it tonight.”  With this big sad face I turn to look at her with puppy dog eyes, knowing I was going to need her to get it off me too.

“Mom…there is no way that thing is coming off.”  We laughed. We tugged and pulled and wrestled. But she was right. Both of us were breathing heavy, sweating in the bathroom, we looked at each other like…NOW WHAT?

I said, “Get me the scissors…”
“Mom, really? No! Really?”
“Look baby, neither one of us are ever gonna wear this dress again, we can’t get it on or off!”

She got the scissors.  It really hurt to do it, but I had to face reality.  The dress was a goner.  The first snip was the hardest.

It did look pretty great on me though.

It’s now in the trash can.

And I’m going to be wearing a nice little  sun dress that fits me instead.

Now…onto make up!

One response to “Vanity

  1. Pingback: Are We There Yet? « Improvised Life·

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