Somebody That I Used to Know

I’ve been there done that…I’ve experienced me trying to make something work come hell or high water with Martin. I too, strived so hard in my marriage to make that work. I believe in commitment – don’t get me wrong. Being committed takes two though. When one person betrays another…it just can’t happen the way it’s supposed to.
I pray every single night that doesn’t happen to me and Harry. No betrayals. Mistakes? Sure. Forgiveness? In abundance. But God please…no betrayals.

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Am I Fixed?

I didn’t think at the time that anything could be worse. Failure, waste…I needed it fixed. I couldn’t imagine a worse-case scenario for my life.

Then came Martin. I looked to him to fix me and my situation. I hoped for a replacement to the loss in my life and in my children’s lives. He was kind to my kids and interacted with them with finesse and tenderness. He was very convincing. He said he’d take care of me and love me and…He said lots of things. I wanted that replacement so bad I overlooked big, bad, ugly things in his character.

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He sat across the table from me eating the food I cooked for him and he loved it. We laughed, we talked, and we smiled a lot. We do a lot of smiling. The dim light and candles on the table made him look even more beautiful to me and I told him how handsome I thought he was. He doesn’t think he is. Not classically so perhaps but amazingly beautiful to me.

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