Standing in Front of You


Harry has a strange schedule that has him waking in the wee hours of the morning when most people are asleep…except me cause I’m a night owl.    He works so hard.  Every day.  7 days a week.  But he has to right now for his business.  Once it’s chugging along…he will be able to have a life again.  But in the mean time we have some awesome chats and it’s been great for us.  Giving us time and opportunity to share our time even though we’re apart and we are getting to know each other really well.

Last night he was there for me.  I was not having a great night.  Martin exploded on email again.  I entertained the notion that perhaps we could salvage a friendship.  I was sorely mistaken.  It has been almost 9 months since we last saw each other ,and he is still not ready to accept reality.  He may never be ready.  Instead of being reasonable he said lots of things meant to hurt me, shake my foundation, and make me afraid I’d end up alone.

I told Harry what was happening and then I showed him the emails.  He already knew a lot about Martin’s angry email rants from back in February when Harry and I were just friends.  But now he is more than that and instead of sending me flowers like he did in February, he got in his truck and came over.  I left the back door open for him and was walking downstairs as he walked in and suddenly there he was at 3:00 in the morning.  Standing in front of me.  There because he cared.  There because he could.  But there.

I can tell him anything and he knows it all.  And he wonders out loud along with me why Martin doesn’t play smarter.  And is sorry for me.  He’s not jealous.  He’s not worried.  He’s just being a good friend.

As soon as he got to the house, I didn’t care anymore about what some small, pathetic man said trying to hurt me from 6000 miles away.  All I cared about was this great and amazing friend I have who loves me.  Who smiled at my messy face that had been crying and kissed me.

I’m simply grateful that he was there.  He knows me.  He knows that Martin was wrong.  Wrong about what he said and very wrong to say it at all. And it was nice to know that Harry and my foundation is being laid on very solid, level earth…definitely rooted in friendship and love.

His love is a different kind of love…  I can’t put it into words…I tried this afternoon but I don’t think I said it how I wanted to.  Maybe it’s all the country songs that boy listens to…but he shows a respect to me I’ve never experienced before.  When he’s with me he feels like “the man” to me.  And I definitely feel like  how”the woman” is supposed to feel.  I’ve never really felt like “the woman” before in a relationship.  He is polite and protective.  He can be a gentleman and then turn around and tease me like a little brother.  He flirts with being a bad boy but he is sooo not.  He’s a very good guy with a tender and warm heart.

And it floors me to think he was right under my nose all this time.  All these months talking.  He never once flirted with me until I asked him out to shoot pool.  There he was 10 miles down the road, all this time.

He showed me all the pictures he has of himself the other day and I cried when I saw how cute he was.  He told me stories, showed me all his wrestling medals.  The pictures from high school were a trip because there he was.  I remembered that guy.  We weren’t friends.  We barely even spoke.  But there he was going to the same dances I went to.  Sitting in the same classes I sat in…the very same ones.  Running on the very same track team for two years.  And we missed each other.

Maybe it was a good thing.  I do believe that timing is everything in life.  But here he is standing in front of me now.  Making my life better.  Making me believe it is possible to perhaps have the life I’ve always dreamed of having.

One response to “Standing in Front of You

  1. Pingback: The Rubbish Has Been Sorted (and other happy things) | Improvised Life·

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