I’m in a season of gratitude. It started about a week ago. I see the good in everything, even the hard stuff. I don’t know why. I just feel like I’m in a really good place. Not that everything has been easy. Easter was a tough day cause I had to face a family member who had done some things to hurt me and I didn’t want to have conflict even though my feelings are still really raw. I definitely had to pray for help and even when she turned to me to tell me what a great sister she had been in a different situation and it was a perfect open door for me to tell her all the ways she hadn’t been…I just looked down and smiled and let it go.
Work is good, the kids are good, my health is good. In fact I just started Insanity tonight in between work and church and yes I went to church gross cause I didn’t have enough time to shower. And then at the end of the service the pastor stopped me as I was leaving. Tonight of all nights and I had to apologize for being perhaps a bit gross. And he said no problem, we’ll just sit with a chair in between us. Haha, that’s why I like him. He’s pretty real. He asked me for help giving him some suggestions and input analyzing an outreach tool the church uses. It’s sort of my expertise for my day job, or was a while ago, and I indicated on a card at a meeting that I would be willing to help out. So he is taking me up on the offer and that is exciting to me. I’ve been attending this church since November, so six months and I’m starting to feel at home there more and more. It is very small compared to the thousands who attended my old church where I also worked. Now I work for a small ministry doing graphic design. So it’s all good and God continues to open doors for me to be used and I’m grateful.
I’m planning my son’s 18th birthday party which is already at 30 attending after only one day as an event on Facebook. He invited 100 so I’m really hoping many people can’t make it! I want to make this party special for him and I’m looking forward to it, but I’m also already emotional. He’s my baby, all grown up.
I’ve got good friends in my life who love and support me. Some from childhood and others whom I’ve only met in the last few years but they are all people I’m proud to know.
I just feel like my life is full of good things. I’m typically not a sappy person and I can usually find something to critique in just about everything, but I just don’t want to. I want to be happy for a change.
Harry helps. Having someone to talk to who is eager to talk to me even though he’s insanely busy is flattering. And the conversation is so rich. Even with him, I feel really good about where we are at. Not like I want it to go any slower or faster. It just feels like it’s exactly what I need right now and I’m trusting it will go where it’s supposed to go.
I thank God for the ebb and flow of life. The dark times help us appreciate the good. It’s like living in Washington state as opposed to California. In Washington a sunny day warrants cutting school or work, rolling up your pant legs and braving 50 degree lake water. People come out of hibernation from their homes and have actual conversations with their neighbors. All those gray days make the sunny ones so much better. But in California we take the good for granted and we act like we’re all going to melt if we get a little rain like it’s the end of the world. We are lightweights.
Maybe I’m just learning from the pain to appreciate the good when it’s here and not to look for the shoe to drop on my happiness. I know it will…haha. But I also know happy days will return as well. And if the worse thing is that I die and go to heaven, I’m okay with that. So, tonight with my shaky muscles from my workout, the spiritual insight I got from church, the ego-boosting nod from the pastor, the great conversation I got to have with coworkers at work and with Harry, the kisses I got before bed from my children and everything else I didn’t think of – I’m simply overflowing with gratitude.
Thank you Jesus.