Two Steps Back


I’ve experienced some regression in the past couple of days.  I really don’t want to lay it all out there but it has to do with rationalizing and remembering and feelings and a couple of emails.

Emotionally right now I’m totally okay but the resolve has weakened a bit and I’m kicking myself.  Here I am sleeping in the middle of my bed with my shaped up body, hair that got a little too blonde on this last visit to the hairdressers, and all these possibilities.  So many possibilities.  And I went backwards instead of forwards.

I’m mad at me.

My kids leave this morning to go with their dad.  They should have gone last night but he had a party he apparently couldn’t miss. I have work I need to do.  I have an ultrasound on Monday for that mammogram that wasn’t so good.  I need to get out of the house.

The thing is…oh forget it.  It’s stuff I think about though and its hard not to.

Maybe it’s three steps back even.  I was doing so good.

2 responses to “Two Steps Back

  1. Agree with T…you are allowed to regress back here and there. It’s absolutely normal. And I am glad you found your way to the middle of the bed…it is a hard thing to do, I still catch myself doing that when I am traveling…

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