I’ve experienced some regression in the past couple of days. I really don’t want to lay it all out there but it has to do with rationalizing and remembering and feelings and a couple of emails.
Emotionally right now I’m totally okay but the resolve has weakened a bit and I’m kicking myself. Here I am sleeping in the middle of my bed with my shaped up body, hair that got a little too blonde on this last visit to the hairdressers, and all these possibilities. So many possibilities. And I went backwards instead of forwards.
I’m mad at me.
My kids leave this morning to go with their dad. They should have gone last night but he had a party he apparently couldn’t miss. I have work I need to do. I have an ultrasound on Monday for that mammogram that wasn’t so good. I need to get out of the house.
The thing is…oh forget it. It’s stuff I think about though and its hard not to.
Maybe it’s three steps back even. I was doing so good.
Allow yourself some weakness. Just let it be. It’ll pass just like the strength passed too.
Agree with T…you are allowed to regress back here and there. It’s absolutely normal. And I am glad you found your way to the middle of the bed…it is a hard thing to do, I still catch myself doing that when I am traveling…