There is something sinister and horrible about being robbed. It makes you feel so violated. Someone else is enjoying what used to be yours. Hard.
Two of my dearest friends are going through a really rotten time. I told you yesterday about one of them whose husband just proposed to a woman she didn’t even know he was dating. The bad part about that is he got their 15-year-old son to lie for him. The poor kid lived with this secret for months through meeting her, vacationing with her, meeting her family. Once it spilled out he told my friend how much he likes her family and how he’ll get a new set of grandparents. This hurt lots because her father just passed away this past summer. She’s mourning the loss of so much. And she feels like her life has been hijacked. Here she was living her life and he decides that life as she knew it is over.
When something or someone is taken away because of an illness or natural disaster I can wrap my head around it. But when it is the result of rejection by one person then it is hard for me to get because I know I couldn’t do that just because I felt like it.
I have another friend whose ex-husband served her with papers from a lawyer on Mother’s Day weekend informing her that he was prepared to sue her for 50% custody of the kids reducing the time she gets to spend with them by 30%. She was a wreck all weekend. Especially after speaking with her children and finding out how the ex and his new wife who have a fancy new house and all the electronics they could want had promised them outings, and fun times, their own rooms and more once it was all final. So of course her kids were all for the idea. She said to me in tears, “I didn’t have children to give them to someone else to raise.” Hijacked.
I almost feel guilty for any complaint I have uttered recently because I have so much that they don’t have. I have a man who adores me. Almost too much in a sense that he wants what we have so much he was willing to lie to keep it. I have a beautiful home where even though my ex only paid half of what he was supposed to for April I still covered the bills. I have an ex who would never in a million years put his children in the position of lying for him and who tries despite his bad choices to be a good father. I have an awesome job where I can do what I like from my home without much stress or toil. Neither one of them has any of this. I also have an awesome relationship with my two teens. We are open, we talk, sometimes we fight, but whatever we are doing, it is real and I know our bond is stronger than ever. They don’t have that either.
My heart aches for them.
My only decent response is to listen to them. And to be completely humbled that God gave me the path I’m on. Because I feel I have been spared by so much that could have been worse.
There was a time back about 4 years ago when I reconnected with a very good old friend. I described my life to him and he was blown away and said, “Wow, you really do have the perfect life don’t you?” At the time I thought I did. I remembered him saying that as I watched my life crumble in the giant earthquake called infidelity and divorce. I thought everything was over. That my life too had been hijacked.
I don’t know why I have so much to be thankful for and they don’t. I don’t know why I am blessed everyday like I am. They are both believers. They both have lived good lives. They are no worse or better than me. It’s like being a survivor of a plane crash when the people sitting around you are all dead. Or you are the only house left standing even though a deadly tornado hit your street. Why were you spared when others weren’t?
I can’t even try to figure it out. All I know is that I’m grateful despite my heartache in recent months. Because I just am. I know that storms are part of life and they always come back. It’s not the hijacking that defines us but our attitude before, during and after.
So I do praise God for what He gives and for what He takes away. And I know I will get my turn at tears again.
If you are going through a hard time right now maybe this song will help you as it helps me.