This Is Big


This is going to be a big week for me.  I’m so excited I can barely stand it.

Last night at 1:30 AM I decided the end of Castle could wait.  I switched off the television, put Lucy in her cage, and made the trek upstairs where I found the last batch of books I bought from Amazon sprawled out on my bed.  Lit, a memoir by Mary Karr is what I decided to read first. Ten pages in my eyes started to close but I think it’s going to be a good read.  Next will be the latest from Nora Ephron.   Chick books for sure.

This morning my eyes popped open at 7:15 and my first thought was, it’s today, and I smiled.  I tried to go back asleep but couldn’t so I dragged myself out of bed to make my coffee.

This is big.  Big.  Big.  Big.

I think about how he looked the last time I saw him.  So cute.  So excited. 

The mirror reflects this woman who used to be a middle-aged mom and wife who was 20 lbs over weight.  Before I didn’t even look at myself or thought anyone else did. Now,  I take stock.  No zits this time.  Good.  Finally.  Hair could be nicer, fingernails could be longer, eyebrows need plucking, my lips are a little chapped, am severely bloated due to my time of the month.  Darn.  Double darn.  I smile.  He says he loves my teeth.  I think, he’s crazy.

I check my email and the flight is on time.  Better than on time, it’s due to arrive an hour early!  Holy crap!

This is big.  Big.  Really big.

I say a prayer.  “Lord – thank you.  Thank you for loving me.  For teaching me to be better.  As excited as I am I know me.  I know I have these romantic expectations so please give me that spirit that is happy just to take it all in as it comes.  Help me to have peace in my heart.  Help me to keep you first.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

It’s a beautiful day.  Sunny, warm, and full of hope.  It is just as it was meant to be.

I check his flight again.  This is where he’s at right now.  In 5 hours I will be seeing him in the flesh.

Somehow I think my 5 hours of sleep last night will not dampen my joy.  Neither will my cramps.  Neither will the traffic or the fact that I know the next time I see him will be in April.  I have to soak up every minute I get with him.  And I intend to.

4 responses to “This Is Big

  1. Your excitement is palpable! I love it!! And the skype picture is adorable. Enjoy every moment (yay, no zits! I have one come to think of it…damn!).

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