We are missing each other. Wow.
I’ve never been with a sensitive guy before and Martin is sensitive. I’m used to being the one who gets a little worried from time to time about nothing. But today it was him. I didn’t email him over night (his night) two days in a row. I said a few things that he grabbed onto and worried about. This whole 6,000 miles away and months apart is HARD. That is a 4x emphasis on that word. Bold, italics, underlined, and capitalized! But I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world because this is our story. And it’s a good one.
He thought I was sending signals that I was losing interest today. He totally misread what I had said. All along I was worrying (again) at him leaving his family and life and feeling bad about the sacrifice he was making. I was feeling selfish and wishing it could be different. At the same time I was gearing myself up for a busy weekend where I knew we’d be missing each other time-wise for our long talks. And I had a ton of work to finish for the week. Sensitive to the change, he got worried, and drove 4 hours home after a long day at work worrying about it. I knew something was up when we reconnected but I didn’t know why.
“What in the world is wrong?”
“I’m just tired. I’m sorry, you’ll laugh.”
“I bet I will go ahead! Hit me with it.”
We laughed as his eyelids drooped and his head nodded after he explained what he was feeling. I was able to alleviate his worry.
“Go to sleep silly. I love you more than you’ll ever know and we are good. I promise.”
“Okay, that’s good.” He said with a weak smile. He was drunk with tiredness but fighting it.
“You silly man. If I was there I would take off your shoes, rub your head, give you a soft kiss on the lips and watch you fall asleep. Go to sleep.”
“Okay, I love you.”
“I know. I love you too.”
I hung up the call smiling and knowing that I was loved, he is loved, and life is good.