Today is my 41st birthday. It was just a normal day, I didn’t do anything special. Went shopping with my daughter. Heard a good sermon this morning. And I guess I reflected a lot on this past year. So much has changed.
- This time last year I heard for the first time from my husband that he was actually in love with someone else. It was his first admission of guilt.
- Last year for my birthday my sisters took me out to a piano bar where they sat me on the top of a piano and all the men in the restaurant came up to sing me….”You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling” For real. I got drunk that night. First time ever getting drunk at a bar. Never ever want to do it again. Woke up crying the next day. It was horrible.
- I started my blog last year in October and planned a trip to Ireland with my best friend.
- Where I met a great guy from England.
- I started divorce proceedings and learned how to do all the paperwork on my own.
- I hosted the English guy a number of times on trips to California and I fell in love. Madly and deeply.
- I went to England twice.
- I went to Mexico once.
- I learned I could take care of a 5-bedroom home with a pool, two dogs and two kids and pay the bills all on my own.
- I got addicted to ambien and in the last week I’ve managed to get off of it (despite all my personal dilemmas)
- I learned how much God loves me…even more than I thought before.
- I realized because of Martin that I’m okay looking without make up (that was a big one for me).
- I realized because of Martin that I’m okay period. I’m good enough, I’m worth it. (another huge big one).
- I purposefully ate a tomato for the first time and liked it.
- I purposefully drank tea for the first time and thought it was okay.
- I became legally single when my divorce was final and realized I did not cease to exist or crumble into a ball of tears.
- No. Instead I am able to say the woman I am today is a better woman than she was a year ago. She is stronger, wiser, kinder and likes herself more than ever before. She’s danced and sung and laughed more and had more love bestowed onto her this year than the past twenty years combined. She’s said good-bye to side-A and embraced the flip side – that unexpected shift in the script and is happier and more content. She became much closer to her daughter, a little closer to her son. She is at peace. She trusts God.
Good-bye 40 and hello to a new year. I pray that it is less eventful than the last. I pray that I am delightfully surprised by what happens next in my story.