I’m a fan of the Gidget movies but the first one in particular. I swear I was just like her growing up. A little smaller and pint-sized compared to the rest of the full-grown women around me who were doing full-grown things. I wasn’t pure as the driven snow but I was innocent and definitely not street smart and I guess I chose to be that way. I still do.
I feel like these past two years, I have been living a little bit of a Gidget movie experience because I’m getting some lessons in the real world. Some that are very hard ones. Lessons on trust, and who you can let in and who you can’t and when to say no and when to say yes.
When other girls would play it coy and give some guy a line – I wade out in front of them with my big flippers and snorkel mask intent to do my own thing and do things on my terms not theirs. Somehow despite not playing the typical games, men are attracted to me and my spirit.
Since my break up with Slimeball I had some soul-searching to do. I had truly only been with my ex my entire life when he entered the picture with a very big storyline and a lot of drama. It was not a normal relationship and I definitely got swept into it before I was ready. Kind of like when Gidget thinks she can swim and gets tangled up in all the kelp. I was in over my head emotionally, and mentally and in a very small way I needed to get rescued.
But I didn’t want to admit I needed a man. I wanted to chart my own course and as devastated as I was that I had another failed relationship I thought maybe I was just choosing the wrong type of guy and playing it too safe. I started looking for the opposite of what I had always said I wanted. And taunting the world to come and get me.
There was Kahuna – a surfer guy in high school who is now a high-profile security guard. Protecting men as a body-guard everywhere from Iraq to Beverly Hills. He had the big guns, the mean stance, travels so much he doesn’t really have any roots in one place. Out of the blue he asked me out on a movie date via a Facebook message. Um..guns and tattoos and me do not fit. I politely declined. I was nice about it but…you never saw the Gidge with Kahuna…nobody did.
Eventually, I accepted a date with him and entertained the thought that maybe he was MAN enough to give me the balance I needed in life. I wrote about it here. But remember that scene where Kahuna knows he’s too worldly and rough for her innocence and Kahuna takes her to a beach house and pushes her sensibilities? Gidget tried to be brave and go along. I did too. I tried. But I couldn’t do it. It scared me. It was too raw, too hard, too coarse a relationship for me. I ended it.
A few months later I got an email from him apologizing for making life difficult and said that he learned in part through me to stop burning bridges and to start building them up instead. Kind of like when Kahuna at the end of the movie accepts a real job and deciding to settle down in one place. Gidget got to him by being true to herself.
There was a Jeffrey Matthews (aka Moondoggie) too – a good boy who wished he could be more of a bad boy…even acts like it sometimes, but he’s not. In his core he’s a good guy. A huge softy who would rather give than receive. Gidget tries to get him to see the good of being good….it’s nice to have Moondoggies. They are the keepers. And my Harry was my Moondoggie.
He kind of lived in two different worlds. The one that he thought he wanted and the one that was real and tried to play them both at the same time. But the more Gidget got under his skin, Moondoggie realizes that he wants one real full life more than ever.
Yesterday Harry and I were at the gym and between a round of shoulder exercises he leaned over to me and said, “Livvy I love you so much because you make me want to be a better man. Not different, just the best me I can be.” And he kissed me. And it was as if I were standing on the beach with Moondoggie when he gives her his pin to wear until he gets back from college. I said, “You just quoted a line from Gidget….now you have to watch it with me.” :-)
Eventually we all want something real that connects on every level. Even if she is pint-sized and overly opinionated and doesn’t give a rip what a “typical girl” is supposed to do and be. Maybe because she is this way….she makes a perfect fit because she is just being real.
I’m too much for most people. But I think I might be perfect for Harry.
Moondoggie rescues a defiant Gidget out of the kelp and catches her eye because underneath the bravado, she knows she is looking at a quality guy. A man who is much more than he gives himself credit for. And in many ways Harry rescued me by detangling me out of the lies I had believed with Slimeball. He was patient and loving and a very good friend. And I knew he was quality then. Now…he has my heart.
And I think he might be perfect for me.
For the first time in my life I feel like a real woman.